kaitniss

IC INFORMATION
Name: Daryl Dixon
Canon: The Walking Dead
Age: Late 40s Early 50s (canon never specifies)
Appearance: s9 gifset linked above
Canon Point: 10.16 - "A Certain Doom"
(updated to 11.08 - "For Blood")

Background: Daryl Dixon @ the Walking Dead Wiki

CRAU: n/a

Personality:

Before anything else, Daryl has always been a survivor. Being capable and practical were all that saved him when his life-or-death tests began long before the end of the world. Daryl was forced to take on a brutally individualistic mindset (hunting for his own food and feeding himself without funds, finding his own way home at 9 years old after being lost for days) when his mother died horribly and his older brother left him with an abusive drunk of a father when he was very young. This has primed him to survive whenever his world only gets harsher and although Daryl isn't exactly adaptable (he struggles to find any place at all in civilized society), he's made to thrive in rugged and dangerous conditions. He can hunt, trap, track, and survive on very little without feeling sorry for himself. He was raised to be tough, and that survival instinct and defensive mechanism, forged in a childhood full of severe abuse and neglect, has galvanized into something unshakeable in Daryl. He has extremely high endurance and tolerance for pain, but his toughness extends to something more than physical - he absolutely will not cave or break, even when tortured (both mentally and physically) by the likes of Negan. His determination is frightening, and once he's set his mind to something, like finding Carol's daughter, Daryl would rather kill himself in the process of completing the goal than give up. He is also far cleverer than his first impression would suggest. He is intuitive and strategic, he reads a room well and he tends to be a very good judge of a person’s soul. He isn't an indiscriminate killer and has proven, both with Dwight and Negan, that he's capable of huge acts of forgiveness if someone has proved themselves to be a changed person. It's something he himself deeply understands.

Daryl was an uncontrolled, volatile and impulsive redneck handful before getting the chance to bond with Rick and his group, and the changes (for the better) in Daryl began immediately. He still retains a lot of that same volatile nature (usually lashing out because of fear or insecurity, or because someone he loves has been hurt) but it is tempered with an impossibly intense and simple loyalty for those he deems to be a part of his group. He will gladly kill and die for anyone he deems worth protecting, no matter how new to his group they are, revealing his innate status of being a protector to a community. He is not, however, protective in a possessive way; Daryl doesn't believe himself worthy of the relationships he's forged, and would never presume to argue that anyone owes him any kind of friendship or respect for what he's done. In an effort to feel needed and as though he has a purpose and a place to belong, Daryl has developed a complex for protecting others, violently if need be. He is completely uninterested in being seen as the hero, though Daryl nevertheless takes on these responsibilities very quickly. He instinctively looks out for others, especially those smaller, gentler, or more innocent than himself; Carol (at first), Judith, Beth, and eventually larger and larger communities. He risks himself for those he sees as having value because he himself, he thinks, isn’t worth very much. He’s already tailor-made to navigate brutal or violent surroundings, so the weight of responsibility on Daryl often feels overwhelming. Because of this, he takes losses very hard and sees them as a personal failing on his part.

Honest to the point of being nearly incapable of lying to those that matter to him (he'd rather just say nothing), Daryl still has a great deal of lingering self-doubt when it comes to trusting his own leadership instincts. After a lifetime of following his older brother and bad-influence, Merle (and later Rick), Daryl is adept at supporting a strong personality and will usually pick the person he trusts the most to throw his own voice behind so the difficult decisions won’t fall to him. He feels safest in this position of 'right-hand man' and is willing to do whatever dirty work is delegated to him in order to make the job of the leader easier, though if no capable leader steps up, Daryl will do whatever the job requires. This means his loyalty comes with occasional hiccups and disagreements, as Daryl’s own particular 'fair play' moral code sometimes gets in the way of what others want him to do. Once Daryl has planted his feet on an issue it takes a great deal to move him.

The moral code he lives by is: don't hurt those that don't deserve it. Don't use the power you have in this world to hurt those that don't have it. Daryl has been severely damaged by a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse thanks to his parents and his brother and he is extremely closed-off because of it. He used to have a hard time acknowledging it and part of him still believes that he brought it on himself for being emotional and compassionate, which he was taught were weak traits for a man to display - even his hallucinations of his older brother berated and feminized him for the role he first took within Rick's group. He still struggles to fully participate in positive relationships and is occasionally still prone to attacking those who try to show him kindness. His way of resolving the fact that he doesn't know how to handle his own emotions is to lash out or disappear once they become overwhelming, though he has moved mountains in overcoming the worst of these defensive behaviors. He is still impulsive and distrustful, especially of authority figures, while also subconsciously longing for someone to take care of him; whether that means telling him what the right decision is or letting him know his feelings are legitimate and valid. He is self-hating, often angry, and he has a good deal of difficulty accepting help. He struggles with a lot of learned, toxic behavior that works directly against his naturally gentle and protective side, so he ends up rather unpredictably bouncing between the two states (screaming in Tara's face and berating her for screwing up the plan, but stopping short when he realizes he's upsetting Judith, a toddler). He's willing to play the 'tough guy' because he believes that's what others look to him for and that it's what he does best, although the more he hurts others the worse he looks at himself in the long run.

For all these reasons, Daryl had never had any positive, functioning relationships before meeting Rick’s group of survivors and he still doesn't know how to maintain enriching, emotional human connections without a good deal of help - his personal relationships have all been maintained by those that love him despite his flaws and make the efforts for him. His incredible compassion for those he has come to care about is always fighting against his learned instinct to avoid appearing vulnerable, and he tries not to speak more than he has to (unless he’s flying off the handle, and then all bets are off). Daryl feels his emotions like runaway freight trains and even though he’s always trying to control them the way he thinks men are supposed to, his outbursts of anger and sadness are overwhelming. As a result, the gentlest parts of him are distant, almost inaccessibly buried under an intimidating, hardened exterior. It takes a very long time to get to know him.

Weaknesses/Temptations: Not too many as of his canon point, but he can be self-pitying/self-hating, is prone to isolating himself instead of feeling overwhelming emotions and he compulsively needs to feel important/needed/valued by the people he cares about (a bit of a savior complex). He will risk his own safety at the drop of a hat for others.

Sins:

Murder ; Daryl has killed dozens and dozens of people during the apocalypse to keep his people safe, though some cases are certainly more dubious than others
Envy ; he grew up poor and abused and often psychologically takes that out on others or punishes himself because of it
Wrath ; assault after assault after losing his temper after oh look, another assault
Hedonism ; all the drinking and drugs, but surprisingly no sex

Powers/Abilities: n/a

Items: Crossbow, hunting knife

SAMPLES
Network: ryslig, musebox
Log: tdm tl