[ It's more than relief that floods him when she steps into him and wraps her arms around him. It releases the self-hatred he's been carrying with him for days, the fury at himself he hasn't been able to give up since the Duchess had given him back a life.
It's not his life, not anymore, but maybe it doesn't have to be no life, after all. She forgives him. She isn't afraid of him. Daryl wraps his arms around her shoulders and fairly crushes her to his chest, committing to it entirely. He lets his nose tip into her hair and just breathes. ]
I thought you'd hate me.
[ Barely a murmur. They're so close he doesn't have to speak above a whisper. ]
who was she kidding? she was so desperately afraid of returning to the life she'd had in the wilds that she can't even kill someone she hates because she is too attached to him. even if she'd hated daryl the moment he'd jumped her, she couldn't have killed him either.
but she doesn't. herself, a little, maybe. for her own weakness. but not him. he had only taken what he'd rightfully been able to wrest from her. ]
[ He doesn't know how she doesn't. Maybe she's more forgiving than he'd be, maybe she's more able to separate the monsters inside them from who they are, or were before they arrived here. He tries to tell himself that he doesn't have to understand. He just has to accept the grace.
He doesn't know how long to hold her for either but when he finally detaches and unwinds his arms, he takes her by the shoulders and doesn't step back. ]
Maybe you should. But I'll take it.
[ He realizes that if they're stuck here and he couldn't see her anymore, he'd miss her terribly. He lets her go. ]
Did it... scar?
[ He flinches when he asks, the memories snapping through his mind before he can stop them. His teeth in her thigh, the second bite on her shoulder and collarbone that had drained her dry. He desperately hopes whatever mind-reading powers she has didn't pick those images and memory-sensations up. ]
[ it's the images themselves that make him ask. the memory. he flinches from it, yes, but the memory of the hunger is still there too. the way he'd thrilled in all of it.
did he hope he'd left his mark? was that stronger than the guilt that he might have? mavis' head tilts a little as she cranes her neck to look up at him. ]
[ That's all she has to say for him to know he shouldn't have asked. He knows Jesse had scarred, he'd seen as much afterward, but he hadn't killed Jesse. He hadn't been forced to come back like he and Mavis had. It's been examining his own body after Felipe's attack that's made him ask.
Because he is carrying new scars. Fainter than he thought they'd be, but there. ]
You ain't gotta tell me if you don't want. I shouldn't have asked.
[ And yet he had, because yes. He wants to know. He wants the truth and he doesn't want to dwell on why. ]
with the distance between them, now, mavis reaches up to unlace the tie that holds the top of her blouse closed. she untucks it and pulls it over her head in one efficient movement.
she doesn't wear anything to support her breasts. there's no need. despite the fact that he hadn't gotten a chance to see that properly out in the void, she doesn't look self conscious of her nakedness. it's just skin, and they've already determined he isn't going to hurt her.
she turns her back to him.
there are other scars β a smattering of them, different kinds, some of them faded with age. but where he'd pressed his paw down into her, where his claws had scraped and dug, there's nothing. like it hadn't happened.
she hasn't seen her back firsthand, but she'd seen her thighs. it's an easy guess, and much easier to demonstrate rather than have to find words for when words always require a higher lift for her. she's still so unused to actually communicating with other people, still getting used to the sound of her own voice. ]
[ At first Daryl doesn't realize what she's doing, but the moment he does he looks away, clearly flustered. It's the last thing he was expecting her to do and it isn't until Mavis has turned around to show him her back that he glances at her, cautious and embarrassed for the both of them.
It's a good thing she can't see how pink his neck has gotten.
There are scars, he can see them immediately, but what he's afraid of seeing isn't there. The wounds he remembers so sharply being put there are gone, but the scars that remain remind him of his own a little with their random placements, ages and depths. He has to shake his head to remember to look away again from the sleek slope of her back and he takes a polite step away from her as he does. ]
'm glad.
[ Is he? If there's nothing to show for their horrific memories, how are they supposed to carry them? Without proof, what's the point of pain? It's a confusing thought when he'd have given so much back home for his friends to benefit from the same erasure. ]
If they're keepin' us here... it's the least she can do.
[ no proof of her weakness. the other scars were from battles won and hardships overcome. they are marks of honor and resiliency. not from the one that bested her.
she turns towards him again as she pulls her shirt back on. despite not being able to see him then, she'd heard and felt plenty. ]
[ Yeah, she had. He supposes that he hadn't hidden that very well, but he's never been good at pretending to be anything but who he is. He keeps his eyes averted until he knows she's got her top tied back on, then he offers her a half-shrug and an undeniably shy glance. ]
It's fine. Ain't like I don't deserve it.
[ He just hadn't been expecting it, but it doesn't seem as though she'd done it to throw him off on purpose. ]
I don't believe that. [ she hadn't done it to punish him. ] We've been naked together before.
[ not in the void. but then, she recalls, he'd been uncomfortable then too. she would have thought even the people who were uneasy with that originally would have gotten past it here, with the festivals being like they are.
not daryl, though. he may be the person she knows with the strongest sense of who he is. it'll take more than that to change him. more than death, too, she hopes. ]
[ She isn't wrong but the blunt way she states it almost guts him with embarrassment. It's almost like being naked in front of her all over again. ]
Yeah. But I've been tryin' to forget that day. When we didn't have a choice.
[ It's different when he has a choice, but even those moments are few and far between with Daryl. His shyness goes much deeper than even just the physical. ]
[ she shifts her weight. it feels stupid to apologize for something like making him remember that, all things considered. it will probably be a while yet before she apologizes to daryl for anything.
but it's clear she hadn't meant to thrust it upon him unwelcome, from her awkward lingering. ]
Those clothes don't suit you. [ she changes the subject inexpertly, pointing to the clothes that the duchess had provided them with to leave. to replace the ones that had been destroyed in their death. ]
[ He isn't expecting an apology. He doesn't wait on shit like that and he'd said it to be honest, not to guilt her. But Daryl recognizes an awkward subject change when he hears it and for once he isn't the only one ruining a conversation.
He can't help but smirk a little, glancing down at the softness and embroidery. ]
They don't, huh? [ Obviously they don't. ] What sorta clothes do?
[ He really hasn't found anything that suits him here, but is this like the opposite of when that girl with the green hair had told him he looked like a person who would own a dog? ]
[ she's never seen work overalls before coming here, but she already knows to associate with people who can't be yanking their pants up all the time because they're busy doing manual labor. that's daryl.
[ Before Rubilykskoye, Daryl had gotten by on maintaining the same hard-used clothes for years. He'd think she was reading his mind, if not for the mention of something that sounds like suspenders or something. that's only in the spin-off. ]
You ain't wrong. But belts are more useful. They're good for more'n holdin' up your pants, in a pinch.
[ Tourniquets, to say the least. Hard to cut an infected limb off if you've only got it tied with suspenders. ]
I lost... what I was wearin' when we left, all my gear. I didn't leave much with Jesse. [ He shrugs, then sits down on the edge of the one bed. ] Gotta start over again.
[ she tries to imagine another use for a belt. looks at his briefly, doing some kind of mental calculations. while he may be thinking tourniquet, she's thinking garrote. eventually, she tips her head in acknowledgment, which turns slowly into a nod. yes, he's right. that's useful. ]
The hunting lodge can give you good work clothes in exchange for kills. [ she moves to the other bed, pulls her feet up onto it and crosses her legs. ] What else did you lose?
[ He isn't going to say no, but he doubts she can make him a tool that will last. He's never been one to use a bow like Carol's and he uses his knives too often and too hard to use tools made from rock. ]
They know me now. [ He hasn't considered that that might be a hinderance now, as much as anything else. ] We'll see if they'll still trade with me.
Knife. Bow. [ she shrugs her shoulder. ] What else do you need?
[ these are the hallmarks of any good kuruko's kit, anyway. skill with either would keep you safe and feed you and yours, give you a place among the hunters and warriors of the clan. ]
[ It would be cleaner than the way he'd been trimming Jesse's beard and his own before he'd lost all his knives, even his skinning tools. Somehow he still hadn't thought to buy a razorblade for himself so he hadn't even had one to lose. ]
Once I got a crossbow again, I always need more bolts.
[ Though anything not tipped with iron won't be very useful. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's not his life, not anymore, but maybe it doesn't have to be no life, after all. She forgives him. She isn't afraid of him. Daryl wraps his arms around her shoulders and fairly crushes her to his chest, committing to it entirely. He lets his nose tip into her hair and just breathes. ]
I thought you'd hate me.
[ Barely a murmur. They're so close he doesn't have to speak above a whisper. ]
no subject
[ if she'd hated him, he'd be dead.
who was she kidding? she was so desperately afraid of returning to the life she'd had in the wilds that she can't even kill someone she hates because she is too attached to him. even if she'd hated daryl the moment he'd jumped her, she couldn't have killed him either.
but she doesn't. herself, a little, maybe. for her own weakness. but not him. he had only taken what he'd rightfully been able to wrest from her. ]
no subject
He doesn't know how long to hold her for either but when he finally detaches and unwinds his arms, he takes her by the shoulders and doesn't step back. ]
Maybe you should. But I'll take it.
[ He realizes that if they're stuck here and he couldn't see her anymore, he'd miss her terribly. He lets her go. ]
Did it... scar?
[ He flinches when he asks, the memories snapping through his mind before he can stop them. His teeth in her thigh, the second bite on her shoulder and collarbone that had drained her dry. He desperately hopes whatever mind-reading powers she has didn't pick those images and memory-sensations up. ]
no subject
[ it's the images themselves that make him ask. the memory. he flinches from it, yes, but the memory of the hunger is still there too. the way he'd thrilled in all of it.
did he hope he'd left his mark? was that stronger than the guilt that he might have? mavis' head tilts a little as she cranes her neck to look up at him. ]
no subject
Because he is carrying new scars. Fainter than he thought they'd be, but there. ]
You ain't gotta tell me if you don't want. I shouldn't have asked.
[ And yet he had, because yes. He wants to know. He wants the truth and he doesn't want to dwell on why. ]
no subject
but.
with the distance between them, now, mavis reaches up to unlace the tie that holds the top of her blouse closed. she untucks it and pulls it over her head in one efficient movement.
she doesn't wear anything to support her breasts. there's no need. despite the fact that he hadn't gotten a chance to see that properly out in the void, she doesn't look self conscious of her nakedness. it's just skin, and they've already determined he isn't going to hurt her.
she turns her back to him.
there are other scars β a smattering of them, different kinds, some of them faded with age. but where he'd pressed his paw down into her, where his claws had scraped and dug, there's nothing. like it hadn't happened.
she hasn't seen her back firsthand, but she'd seen her thighs. it's an easy guess, and much easier to demonstrate rather than have to find words for when words always require a higher lift for her. she's still so unused to actually communicating with other people, still getting used to the sound of her own voice. ]
no subject
It's a good thing she can't see how pink his neck has gotten.
There are scars, he can see them immediately, but what he's afraid of seeing isn't there. The wounds he remembers so sharply being put there are gone, but the scars that remain remind him of his own a little with their random placements, ages and depths. He has to shake his head to remember to look away again from the sleek slope of her back and he takes a polite step away from her as he does. ]
'm glad.
[ Is he? If there's nothing to show for their horrific memories, how are they supposed to carry them? Without proof, what's the point of pain? It's a confusing thought when he'd have given so much back home for his friends to benefit from the same erasure. ]
If they're keepin' us here... it's the least she can do.
no subject
[ no proof of her weakness. the other scars were from battles won and hardships overcome. they are marks of honor and resiliency. not from the one that bested her.
she turns towards him again as she pulls her shirt back on. despite not being able to see him then, she'd heard and felt plenty. ]
I made you uncomfortable.
no subject
It's fine. Ain't like I don't deserve it.
[ He just hadn't been expecting it, but it doesn't seem as though she'd done it to throw him off on purpose. ]
no subject
[ not in the void. but then, she recalls, he'd been uncomfortable then too. she would have thought even the people who were uneasy with that originally would have gotten past it here, with the festivals being like they are.
not daryl, though. he may be the person she knows with the strongest sense of who he is. it'll take more than that to change him. more than death, too, she hopes. ]
no subject
[ She isn't wrong but the blunt way she states it almost guts him with embarrassment. It's almost like being naked in front of her all over again. ]
Yeah. But I've been tryin' to forget that day. When we didn't have a choice.
[ It's different when he has a choice, but even those moments are few and far between with Daryl. His shyness goes much deeper than even just the physical. ]
no subject
[ she shifts her weight. it feels stupid to apologize for something like making him remember that, all things considered. it will probably be a while yet before she apologizes to daryl for anything.
but it's clear she hadn't meant to thrust it upon him unwelcome, from her awkward lingering. ]
Those clothes don't suit you. [ she changes the subject inexpertly, pointing to the clothes that the duchess had provided them with to leave. to replace the ones that had been destroyed in their death. ]
no subject
He can't help but smirk a little, glancing down at the softness and embroidery. ]
They don't, huh? [ Obviously they don't. ] What sorta clothes do?
[ He really hasn't found anything that suits him here, but is this like the opposite of when that girl with the green hair had told him he looked like a person who would own a dog? ]
no subject
[ she draws a line down the side of her chest. ]
With straps.
[ she's never seen work overalls before coming here, but she already knows to associate with people who can't be yanking their pants up all the time because they're busy doing manual labor. that's daryl.
not this fancy thing. ]
yes i did shuffle my icons just to add this
that's only in the spin-off.]You ain't wrong. But belts are more useful. They're good for more'n holdin' up your pants, in a pinch.
[ Tourniquets, to say the least. Hard to cut an infected limb off if you've only got it tied with suspenders. ]
I lost... what I was wearin' when we left, all my gear. I didn't leave much with Jesse. [ He shrugs, then sits down on the edge of the one bed. ] Gotta start over again.
LMAO OH GOOD
The hunting lodge can give you good work clothes in exchange for kills. [ she moves to the other bed, pulls her feet up onto it and crosses her legs. ] What else did you lose?
no subject
[ He'd been able to improvise snares, which he hates to use, up until he'd had enough to start trading properly for the supplies he really needed.
All for nothing. ]
My weapons.
[ His mind. ]
no subject
[ mavis says this almost automatically, dismissively. ]
I will make you one.
[ at least, one that is functional enough until he can get his own. she's already working on that bow for leah, anyway. ]
no subject
[ He isn't going to say no, but he doubts she can make him a tool that will last. He's never been one to use a bow like Carol's and he uses his knives too often and too hard to use tools made from rock. ]
They know me now. [ He hasn't considered that that might be a hinderance now, as much as anything else. ] We'll see if they'll still trade with me.
no subject
[ these are the hallmarks of any good kuruko's kit, anyway. skill with either would keep you safe and feed you and yours, give you a place among the hunters and warriors of the clan. ]
I learned to carve wood.
no subject
[ It would be cleaner than the way he'd been trimming Jesse's beard and his own before he'd lost all his knives, even his skinning tools. Somehow he still hadn't thought to buy a razorblade for himself so he hadn't even had one to lose. ]
Once I got a crossbow again, I always need more bolts.
[ Though anything not tipped with iron won't be very useful. ]
no subject
Wood won't hold an edge for that.
[ not any wood she's used to working with, anyway. you could get maybe one use out of that if you're lucky. she looks him over though, thoughtful. ]
You don't need one. [ it seems like a waste, trying to apply clean lines to his face. ]
no subject
No. I was thinkin' rock, if you're good at it. Or some scrap steel.
[ But her comment shuts him up again. He glances down like he has no idea what to do with it. ]
Nah, not for me. I got a friend who doesn't like his beard comin' in.
no subject
[ mavis thinks through this as she explains. ]
I have never used one.
[ a razor, that is. but she gathers how others use them. ]
no subject
[ He's already thinking of all the things he's going to have to trade for to get back on his feet here. What's one more thing?
But thoughts of planning for the future in this place make his expression darken up again. ]
You still stayin' in the woods?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)