[ no proof of her weakness. the other scars were from battles won and hardships overcome. they are marks of honor and resiliency. not from the one that bested her.
she turns towards him again as she pulls her shirt back on. despite not being able to see him then, she'd heard and felt plenty. ]
[ Yeah, she had. He supposes that he hadn't hidden that very well, but he's never been good at pretending to be anything but who he is. He keeps his eyes averted until he knows she's got her top tied back on, then he offers her a half-shrug and an undeniably shy glance. ]
It's fine. Ain't like I don't deserve it.
[ He just hadn't been expecting it, but it doesn't seem as though she'd done it to throw him off on purpose. ]
I don't believe that. [ she hadn't done it to punish him. ] We've been naked together before.
[ not in the void. but then, she recalls, he'd been uncomfortable then too. she would have thought even the people who were uneasy with that originally would have gotten past it here, with the festivals being like they are.
not daryl, though. he may be the person she knows with the strongest sense of who he is. it'll take more than that to change him. more than death, too, she hopes. ]
[ She isn't wrong but the blunt way she states it almost guts him with embarrassment. It's almost like being naked in front of her all over again. ]
Yeah. But I've been tryin' to forget that day. When we didn't have a choice.
[ It's different when he has a choice, but even those moments are few and far between with Daryl. His shyness goes much deeper than even just the physical. ]
[ she shifts her weight. it feels stupid to apologize for something like making him remember that, all things considered. it will probably be a while yet before she apologizes to daryl for anything.
but it's clear she hadn't meant to thrust it upon him unwelcome, from her awkward lingering. ]
Those clothes don't suit you. [ she changes the subject inexpertly, pointing to the clothes that the duchess had provided them with to leave. to replace the ones that had been destroyed in their death. ]
[ He isn't expecting an apology. He doesn't wait on shit like that and he'd said it to be honest, not to guilt her. But Daryl recognizes an awkward subject change when he hears it and for once he isn't the only one ruining a conversation.
He can't help but smirk a little, glancing down at the softness and embroidery. ]
They don't, huh? [ Obviously they don't. ] What sorta clothes do?
[ He really hasn't found anything that suits him here, but is this like the opposite of when that girl with the green hair had told him he looked like a person who would own a dog? ]
[ she's never seen work overalls before coming here, but she already knows to associate with people who can't be yanking their pants up all the time because they're busy doing manual labor. that's daryl.
[ Before Rubilykskoye, Daryl had gotten by on maintaining the same hard-used clothes for years. He'd think she was reading his mind, if not for the mention of something that sounds like suspenders or something. that's only in the spin-off. ]
You ain't wrong. But belts are more useful. They're good for more'n holdin' up your pants, in a pinch.
[ Tourniquets, to say the least. Hard to cut an infected limb off if you've only got it tied with suspenders. ]
I lost... what I was wearin' when we left, all my gear. I didn't leave much with Jesse. [ He shrugs, then sits down on the edge of the one bed. ] Gotta start over again.
[ she tries to imagine another use for a belt. looks at his briefly, doing some kind of mental calculations. while he may be thinking tourniquet, she's thinking garrote. eventually, she tips her head in acknowledgment, which turns slowly into a nod. yes, he's right. that's useful. ]
The hunting lodge can give you good work clothes in exchange for kills. [ she moves to the other bed, pulls her feet up onto it and crosses her legs. ] What else did you lose?
[ He isn't going to say no, but he doubts she can make him a tool that will last. He's never been one to use a bow like Carol's and he uses his knives too often and too hard to use tools made from rock. ]
They know me now. [ He hasn't considered that that might be a hinderance now, as much as anything else. ] We'll see if they'll still trade with me.
Knife. Bow. [ she shrugs her shoulder. ] What else do you need?
[ these are the hallmarks of any good kuruko's kit, anyway. skill with either would keep you safe and feed you and yours, give you a place among the hunters and warriors of the clan. ]
[ It would be cleaner than the way he'd been trimming Jesse's beard and his own before he'd lost all his knives, even his skinning tools. Somehow he still hadn't thought to buy a razorblade for himself so he hadn't even had one to lose. ]
Once I got a crossbow again, I always need more bolts.
[ Though anything not tipped with iron won't be very useful. ]
[ she picks at the dead skin beside her nail beds. you'd think that if the duchess was going to resurrect people, heal up their old wounds, that you'd come back with undamaged nail beds. fewer callouses. no dead skin.
maybe this is proof that john and ari are right. that she's just mavis, still, no matter how it feels. ]
Complicated. [ she acknowledges. ] But he came back.
[ he'd been the one to leave in the first place. mavis isn't in the business of leaving if she isn't forced to. she doesn't know how to segue between these thoughts. ]
He is too weak to be alone. [ she says this dismissively instead. how pitiful he'd been about missing her. how he'd held her. she can't admit most of it, so she just falls back on the old stand-by that felipe is embarrassing. ]
[ Her awkwardness with this, when she's so frank about so much else, reminds him of Lydia once again. Of the girl's resistance to so much of the gentleness of civilization, after breaking free of her people.
And that comment about weakness? Lydia, up and down. It's enough to put a slight, knowing smile on his face. ]
You like him.
[ The smirk can be heard in the statement. ]
You're allowed to, y'know. If he really ain't such an asshole. He did kill me for you, an' all.
[ Somehow he's able to say it without the stab of guilt cutting him in half. ]
[ she reaches for the nearby pillow and throws it at him. fuck off with that.
she isn't laughing, merely flustered by his amusement. but she sits with it for a silent moment after that, and then stretches out onto her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. ]
He betrayed me. [ this gets its own space. ] I felt stupid. I trusted him. [ she settles her hands on her abdomen. ] Then he left. I felt stupid again. He didn't care about me.
[ she huffs out a breath. ]
He came back and made me stupid three ways. [ she looks over at daryl, smiling now a little. stupid, this time, for thinking he hadn't cared. he was a coward, yes, but stronger than she gave him credit for, given what he'd done to daryl for her, and given how he'd held her and come back to her and apologized. ]
[ The pillow projectile only magnifies his grin and Daryl catches it, but barely. He throws it back but not with the intention that she had.
He doesn't rush her, he works in the silence as well as she does. ]
Okay, well. I'll punch him for ya.
[ He gets how that would make a person feel like they were being yanked around. He still doesn't understand the details of the problems and he'll never forget finding his camp deserted, but Felipe just seems harmless to Daryl, even now. Even after everything. ]
I think he does care about you. 'm pretty sure he's just the stupid one.
[ she laughs. it feels good. even if she seldom does it, it feels like her in a way that she has struggled with since leaving the castle. she rolls onto her side, taking the thrown pillow and tucking it under her head. she stares across the space at daryl. ]
Do not punch him. He is too fragile. [ and dumb, yes. but at least she feels better having articulated the complexity of it. he doesn't quite grasp the ins and outs, but the general pattern seems to have conveyed, and that's better than mavis expected.
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[ no proof of her weakness. the other scars were from battles won and hardships overcome. they are marks of honor and resiliency. not from the one that bested her.
she turns towards him again as she pulls her shirt back on. despite not being able to see him then, she'd heard and felt plenty. ]
I made you uncomfortable.
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It's fine. Ain't like I don't deserve it.
[ He just hadn't been expecting it, but it doesn't seem as though she'd done it to throw him off on purpose. ]
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[ not in the void. but then, she recalls, he'd been uncomfortable then too. she would have thought even the people who were uneasy with that originally would have gotten past it here, with the festivals being like they are.
not daryl, though. he may be the person she knows with the strongest sense of who he is. it'll take more than that to change him. more than death, too, she hopes. ]
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[ She isn't wrong but the blunt way she states it almost guts him with embarrassment. It's almost like being naked in front of her all over again. ]
Yeah. But I've been tryin' to forget that day. When we didn't have a choice.
[ It's different when he has a choice, but even those moments are few and far between with Daryl. His shyness goes much deeper than even just the physical. ]
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[ she shifts her weight. it feels stupid to apologize for something like making him remember that, all things considered. it will probably be a while yet before she apologizes to daryl for anything.
but it's clear she hadn't meant to thrust it upon him unwelcome, from her awkward lingering. ]
Those clothes don't suit you. [ she changes the subject inexpertly, pointing to the clothes that the duchess had provided them with to leave. to replace the ones that had been destroyed in their death. ]
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He can't help but smirk a little, glancing down at the softness and embroidery. ]
They don't, huh? [ Obviously they don't. ] What sorta clothes do?
[ He really hasn't found anything that suits him here, but is this like the opposite of when that girl with the green hair had told him he looked like a person who would own a dog? ]
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[ she draws a line down the side of her chest. ]
With straps.
[ she's never seen work overalls before coming here, but she already knows to associate with people who can't be yanking their pants up all the time because they're busy doing manual labor. that's daryl.
not this fancy thing. ]
yes i did shuffle my icons just to add this
that's only in the spin-off.]You ain't wrong. But belts are more useful. They're good for more'n holdin' up your pants, in a pinch.
[ Tourniquets, to say the least. Hard to cut an infected limb off if you've only got it tied with suspenders. ]
I lost... what I was wearin' when we left, all my gear. I didn't leave much with Jesse. [ He shrugs, then sits down on the edge of the one bed. ] Gotta start over again.
LMAO OH GOOD
The hunting lodge can give you good work clothes in exchange for kills. [ she moves to the other bed, pulls her feet up onto it and crosses her legs. ] What else did you lose?
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[ He'd been able to improvise snares, which he hates to use, up until he'd had enough to start trading properly for the supplies he really needed.
All for nothing. ]
My weapons.
[ His mind. ]
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[ mavis says this almost automatically, dismissively. ]
I will make you one.
[ at least, one that is functional enough until he can get his own. she's already working on that bow for leah, anyway. ]
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[ He isn't going to say no, but he doubts she can make him a tool that will last. He's never been one to use a bow like Carol's and he uses his knives too often and too hard to use tools made from rock. ]
They know me now. [ He hasn't considered that that might be a hinderance now, as much as anything else. ] We'll see if they'll still trade with me.
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[ these are the hallmarks of any good kuruko's kit, anyway. skill with either would keep you safe and feed you and yours, give you a place among the hunters and warriors of the clan. ]
I learned to carve wood.
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[ It would be cleaner than the way he'd been trimming Jesse's beard and his own before he'd lost all his knives, even his skinning tools. Somehow he still hadn't thought to buy a razorblade for himself so he hadn't even had one to lose. ]
Once I got a crossbow again, I always need more bolts.
[ Though anything not tipped with iron won't be very useful. ]
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Wood won't hold an edge for that.
[ not any wood she's used to working with, anyway. you could get maybe one use out of that if you're lucky. she looks him over though, thoughtful. ]
You don't need one. [ it seems like a waste, trying to apply clean lines to his face. ]
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No. I was thinkin' rock, if you're good at it. Or some scrap steel.
[ But her comment shuts him up again. He glances down like he has no idea what to do with it. ]
Nah, not for me. I got a friend who doesn't like his beard comin' in.
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[ mavis thinks through this as she explains. ]
I have never used one.
[ a razor, that is. but she gathers how others use them. ]
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[ He's already thinking of all the things he's going to have to trade for to get back on his feet here. What's one more thing?
But thoughts of planning for the future in this place make his expression darken up again. ]
You still stayin' in the woods?
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Downstairs, with Felipe.
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No kiddin'? Thought it was more complicated than that between you two.
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maybe this is proof that john and ari are right. that she's just mavis, still, no matter how it feels. ]
Complicated. [ she acknowledges. ] But he came back.
[ he'd been the one to leave in the first place. mavis isn't in the business of leaving if she isn't forced to. she doesn't know how to segue between these thoughts. ]
He is too weak to be alone. [ she says this dismissively instead. how pitiful he'd been about missing her. how he'd held her. she can't admit most of it, so she just falls back on the old stand-by that felipe is embarrassing. ]
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And that comment about weakness? Lydia, up and down. It's enough to put a slight, knowing smile on his face. ]
You like him.
[ The smirk can be heard in the statement. ]
You're allowed to, y'know. If he really ain't such an asshole. He did kill me for you, an' all.
[ Somehow he's able to say it without the stab of guilt cutting him in half. ]
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she isn't laughing, merely flustered by his amusement. but she sits with it for a silent moment after that, and then stretches out onto her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. ]
He betrayed me. [ this gets its own space. ] I felt stupid. I trusted him. [ she settles her hands on her abdomen. ] Then he left. I felt stupid again. He didn't care about me.
[ she huffs out a breath. ]
He came back and made me stupid three ways. [ she looks over at daryl, smiling now a little. stupid, this time, for thinking he hadn't cared. he was a coward, yes, but stronger than she gave him credit for, given what he'd done to daryl for her, and given how he'd held her and come back to her and apologized. ]
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He doesn't rush her, he works in the silence as well as she does. ]
Okay, well. I'll punch him for ya.
[ He gets how that would make a person feel like they were being yanked around. He still doesn't understand the details of the problems and he'll never forget finding his camp deserted, but Felipe just seems harmless to Daryl, even now. Even after everything. ]
I think he does care about you. 'm pretty sure he's just the stupid one.
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Do not punch him. He is too fragile. [ and dumb, yes. but at least she feels better having articulated the complexity of it. he doesn't quite grasp the ins and outs, but the general pattern seems to have conveyed, and that's better than mavis expected.
it feels good. not being alone. ]
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